ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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