so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
We named our party play list daddy issues
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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