the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
How drunk are you?
Completed.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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