theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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