I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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