I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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