It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
