She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
