Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
