You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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