That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
