the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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