You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
