Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
