Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
