His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
