I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
