i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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