Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
