For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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