Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
they're like a gay fantastic four
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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