so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
