i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
