I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
