Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
