somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
