can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
