Porn is love you can see.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
