Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
