Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You are a genius and a whore.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
