I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
