i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
