you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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