his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
