Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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