That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
