He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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