3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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