The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
