You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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