Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Randomize
