Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
