I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
