If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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