i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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