just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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