it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
