My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
