got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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