her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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