It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
