how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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