i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
