It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
