Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Randomize
