I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
she smelled like a LAN party
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize