Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
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