tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
