Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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