so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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