Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
