i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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