if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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